Greens say no to nuclear, yes to luddism.

On a wonderfully green piece of paper which was stuffed through my door, Alison Johnstone gleefully tells us that she, as the Green candidate for Meadows / Morningside, says "No to nuclear".

"This report clearly shows we can reject the UK government's proposals to build new nuclear power stations and succeed in reducing emissions. By switching to locally produced power, Edinburgh can lead the fight against climate change."

Where, exactly, do these people think we're going to get our electricity from? It sure as shit ain't the electricity fairy. Just how, exactly, do they intend to make up the energy gap between renewables, fossil fuel plants, and nuclear in the next decade or so, when our existing nuclear stations go off-line?

I expect we'll hear that we are to cover all our buildings, and green spaces with mini-windmills, whilst we are to catch our farts for a bio-gas plant, or some other crack smoking idea.

Quite simply, build more nuclear plants now, or you will not be switching on your lights in a couple of decades time.

I will not even start on the mention of mobile phone masts in the leaflet.

Are these people luddites, or are they actually expecting us to take them seriously?

Drunk and incapable woman avoids jail for assualting a paramedic

In the Metro today, it was reported that an 18 year old girl, who was drunk and incapable, collapsed in a drunken heap and was attended to by an ambulance. As the girl was falling unconscious, a paramedic proceeded to give her a sternum rub. (Where you rub your knuckles on the person's breast bone, relatively hard, which usually has the effect of waking people up a bit). The girl proceeded to punch the paramedic, and then kick him. She has been given 150 hours of community service by Perth Sheriff Court.

First off, why was she so drunk she couldn't remain in a state where she could get herself home?
Secondly, there's a massive difference between a paramedic applying the old sternum rub, and someone trying to feel you up. I know what a sternum rub feels like when sober, and it's not pleasant.
Thirdly, will she actually learn anything from this 150 hour community service order?

I would like to see her sent to assist the paramedic she assaulted for 150 hours, and see the sort of abuse they take. I think that would be a worthwhile experience for her, and would perhaps make her appreciate just what these people face, and do on a day to day basis.

I have never understood why people assault folk from particularly the ambulance service and fire brigade? Don't they realise these people are putting their lives on the line for us?

MSPs expensive expenses overhaul...

The BBC reports that George Reid has called for an overhaul of the expenses system for MSPs. This begs the question, how can a system that's only a few years old require an overhaul already?

Would that be for these reasons -

"Some MSPs have been criticised for making money by buying and selling properties part-funded by the taxpayer.

The allowance scheme has also drawn criticism for allowing members to make claims for council tax and TV licences."

The dishonest people who are elected MSPs are exactly the reason why we do not need more layers of government. One parliament in Westminster is more than enough dishonesty for our nation! They are supposedly representatives of the people, for the people, by the people - and yet they have higher salaries than many of those they claim to represent, yet still feel the need to swindle us, the tax payers, out of more money from fraudulent or immoral dealings with expenses.

I expect the overhaul will tell MSPs they need to try harder, and cost us a hell of a lot of money in the process, achieving absolutely fuck all.

Sack the lot of them, the work-shy bastards!

Scottish Green 12 step plan...

The Scottish Green Party have a twelve step plan - a plan for a "low carbon" economy.

The trouble is, any time I read about these people, I can't help but wonder who votes for them. Oh yes, nobody. That's the beauty of the party list system.

Anyway, looking at this latest claptrap from the hippy party -

"irrefutable evidence" if you repeat lies often enough, they still are lies.

Scottish carbon output is a fraction of the UK's, and is a fraction of Europe's and is a fraction of the worlds output. Will it really make a difference, when we are already producing less carbon than so many other places?

"Act locally as well as nationally" how does this work with regards to the above?

The greens by scrapping the airport extensions are likely to cause financial harm to Scotland.

We produce more emissions in 3 days than a Malawian does in a year - and the Malawians intend to stay at that level of development do they?

"Personal carbon quotas" which are utterly meaningless when compared to other nations.

"High skill, low carbon economy" would that be similar to the 50% of school leavers in higher education? Utterly unworkable. As has become abundantly clear for anyone in high-tech industry, the far east can compete much better than we at manufacturing on the cheap. Just ask the thousands of people made redundant from Scottish electronics manufacturing, before you go as far back as heavy industry.

Renewable buildings - how many people are living in new builds, versus old, stone built properties that are difficult to retrofit with insulation?

Chemical fires on aeroplanes

The Register reports that "Only you can prevent airline battery fires".

Apparently you're to take laptop batteries into the passenger cabin because fires are easier to deal with in a metal tube full of people.

"In May, a spare li-ion battery stowed away in a passenger's computer case, neither entombed with insulating tape nor placed in a separate protective case caught fire. A flight attendant was able to remove the burning case from the passenger cabin and toss it onto the ramp."

Which is clearly fuck all use at 30,000 feet.

One has to ask, just what would they have done when a metal / chemical fire breaks out during a flight? One can only hope they have a class D fire extinguisher on board, since they can't just open the door and pitch the burning laptop out!

Iran, we-ran, they-fucking-well-should-run

I can't hold back any longer -

What the fuck are Iran up to? Do they not realise there are people itching to bomb the fuck out of them? Do they have any idea what the consequences of their actions could be?

I am, of course, referring to the imprisonment of 15 Royal Naval servicemen, who Iran claims had crossed into Iranian territorial waters...

On the one hand, you've got to applaud Commander Woods, of HMS Cornwall, for not opening fire on the Iranians. On the other, you've got to ask, why didn't he let loose a volley from the rather nice four and a half inch gun that is mounted on the type 22 frigate he commands... I expect that would make even the most hardened nut case check his trousers after a shell from that whistles across your bows...

Even if these British sailors were in Iranian territorial waters, when you're already pissing off the international community with your nuclear aspirations, and general posturing over international affairs - perhaps it's not in your best interests to hold 15 people hostage.

Iran are also in the bad books for restricting the International Atomic Energy Agency inspectors as a response to the latest sanctions imposed by the UN Security Council.

One has to ask how long it will be before we send people in to kick ass and chew bubblegum. (And we're all out of bubblegum).

10 reasons you should (not) buy a mac

... 10 reasons you should fuck off.

The Register has a lovely wee article, with 10 reasons you should buy a mac...

Here are 10 why you should not.

1. Mac owners are insufferable bores
2. It's a fashion accessory, not a computer
3. They look like a Fisher Price toy
4. They are not "just better" than a PC
   
5. They don't crash - my arse.
6. Ripping the pish out of the worlds richest man (Bill Gates) doesn't sell more computers.
7. Have you ever tried replacing the HDD on one of those clamshell ibooks?
8. You can get "blah" for the mac - guess what, you can get it, and more, for other platforms too!
   
9. Intel Inside - hang on, wasn't Power Inside the reason you should buy one a year or two ago, and Intel was crap?
   
10. Mac owners are insufferable bores...

I get the distinct impression the mac is like that stunning blonde... Lovely to look at, you might even stick your dick in her, but otherwise, utterly useless, and not worth spending any quality time with.

As Charlie Brooker wrote in The Guardian -

"Better at "fun stuff", my arse. The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye."

As they say in the scary devil monastery - "All hardware sucks. All software sucks. All users suck." Which is too true...

Socially engineering university admissions

The BBC reports that UCAS (University and Colleges Admissions Service) are to let admissions boards see details of an applicant's family...

"[The] form for 2008 entry will ask applicants about their ethnicity and whether they have been in council care."

So, just what exactly do they need details about ethnicity or care status?

The NUS Vice-President assures us the charge of social engineering was "a knee-jerk reaction". And then goes on to say...

"The real bias in higher education is still that non-traditional students, some from care and most of whom have no family history of accessing higher education, are still not properly represented in universities, and especially at the most elite universities."

What exactly are "Non traditional students"? And what would make them "properly represented"? Would that be some social engineering, by any chance? This is exactly what we would expect from the NUS.

Labour declared un-Christian...

The BBC has just reported that the Bishop of Motherwell is not going to be voting Labour in the forthcoming elections. Good for him.

"The Bishop of Motherwell, Joseph Devine, said he now feels many Labour policies, such as civil partnerships, fly in the face of Christian tradition."

All very entertaining. This begs the question - why has he been voting labour at all?

"Ms Curran, the minister for parliament, said she was perplexed by Bishop Devine's focus on Labour."

Bwahahahaha. Could it be because Labour is in power, and has been fucking everything up? How about because these parts of the country have been safe seats since forever, and really need to get shaken up! The question is - does telling good Catholics to think carefully about their voting habits actually mean we might get a change?

Probably not. I think they like being held back by Labour policy.

Hippies bite back

According to the Torygraph, climate scientists who do not hold the "mainstream" point of view on anthropogenic global warming are being threatened, and ostracised by their peers.

"They say the debate on global warming has been "hijacked" by a powerful alliance of politicians, scientists and environmentalists who have stifled all questioning about the true environmental impact of carbon dioxide emissions."

... so in other words, we're fucked. And here's the clincher...

"I can tolerate being called a sceptic because all scientists should be sceptics, but then they started calling us deniers, with all the connotations of the Holocaust. That is an obscenity. It has got really nasty and personal."

Scientific reason has gone the way of religious fervour. Rational thought and argument cannot win against blind faith and the lies published.

Do some murderers spend too long in jail?

The title has been gleefully plundered from this BBC HYS forum. There is an article in the Torygraph... and a blog post from Burning our money.

How can murderers possibly spend "too long" in jail? There is no such thing! Are their victims any less dead after "too long" - I think not!

If they're spending too long in jail, it's only because we haven't hanged them.

Strike three, you're out!

RMT are considering further strike action over pay and conditions, reports the BBC.

"The row is over proposed changes to shift patterns and centres on how a 35-hour week, agreed last July, is to be implemented nationally. It has been largely accepted in England and Wales."

I wish I worked a 35 hour week. I think my boss wishes I worked a 35 hour week too...

"The union's general secretary Bob Crow said he would be recommending further industrial action in Scotland and for the balloting of the rest of the signal workers in Britain."

Who the fuck is this guy? (Oh yes, Bob the knob, who doesn't like using the normal arbitration system available for when trade unions have grievances like this...)

Sack the fucking lot of them. My day is being disrupted because I cannot get to and from work as normal. In this day and age, on the privatised railways, these people should not get away with this.

Nobody is forcing them to work, if they don't like the conditions, they can fuck off and get a job they like. I work in an industry which has been decimated by job losses. Our work is being sent to far away parts of the world. The signallers should be fucking thankful they still have jobs.

Lords reform passed by peasants...

MPs don't know their arseholes from their earholes. Nothing new there, sadly.

The BBC has just reported that MPs are backing an all-elected House of Lords.

I can't even begin to describe how phenomenally bad that is.

The number of times the Lords have saved us from these "elected" morons in the commons alone is testament to their worth as an appointed body. I am somewhat stunned that this has passed, although I probably should not be.

Stamp out stamp duty...

This is quite topical for me, since I am looking for a new flat at the moment...

Aitchbaws are calling for the 250k stamp duty limit to be raised - this Beeb article tells you all about it.

"if those thresholds had gone up in line with house price inflation since 1997, the £250,000 limit would now be £680,000 and the £500,000 barrier would be £1.36m."

Which is an interesting point - remember our illustrious leaders are pocketing £7500 each time a property sells for £250,000 (That's a two bedroom flat in Edinburgh). Where is this money going?

And just to make me angrier...

"research showed the average stamp duty bill was highest in Edinburgh (at £2,027) and East Renfrewshire (£1,916)."

Even if the government take this on board, it'll be too late for me, and I'll be £7500 poorer for no good reason, other than the government are bastards. BOHICA.

MSP thieving bastard fiddling expenses, film at eleven.

Another great report in the Hootsman on Sunday, telling us what our (occasionally) elected MSPs are up to, and how they are trying to fuck us over a little more..

"Deputy finance minister George Lyon submitted expense claims for two car journeys in early April 2005 to the Scottish Parliament and around his constituency.

Yet on the same two days, he was visiting the US as part of the official MSP delegation to the annual Tartan Week celebrations."

The comments on the article are priceless... I wholeheartedly agree with 9, who wonders how the hell these people can possibly run affairs of state when they can't submit an expense claim without fucking it up at best, or maliciously trying to defraud the people of Scotland at worst...

Tell me again why we need the wee pretendy parliament?

The smoking ban's unwitting consequences

It is with a certain amount of perverse joy that I read the report in the Hootsman on Sunday today regarding some unforeseen consequences of our recent ban on smoking...

"Stopping smokers from lighting up in bars, pubs and restaurants forces them to smoke more than they previously did at home. Consequently, children and non-smokers face a higher risk of exposure to carcinogenic fumes than beforehand, the study concludes."

The article goes on to to tell us that pro-smoking groups are being accused of bias by anti-smoking groups, and vice-versa. Tell us something we don't already know. I think it's fairly obvious though, that telling people they can't feed their addiction somewhere, will force them to feed their addiction somewhere else... They're not going to stop smoking overnight, are they?

I'd rather smoking was allowed in pubs and private clubs. I don't see why the government should tell grown ups that they can or can't smoke in the boozer with other consenting adults... It's not like there's only one pub. People are free to choose where they go, and who they associate with. That said, I do like getting home and not reeking of cigarette smoke. Bah. Nothing is ever simple.

More hot air over CO2 emissions

The Grauniad reports an amusing article highlighting the green hypocrisy over CO2 emissions from transport.

Apparently shipping generates twice as much CO2 as air travel, yet is not covered by the Kyoto protocol. (That we're trying very hard to ignore).

Aviation carbon dioxide emissions, estimated to be about 2% of the global total [of human emissions], have been at the forefront of the climate change debate because of the sharp increase in cheap flights

Could it be that aviation emissions are targeted by the doom-sayers to make us all feel guilty about our damned capitalist ways? You have no right to exploit natural resources for vacation! Damn you!

The green-meanies then attack shipping, forgetting that their beloved Fairtrade products and the tofu they are munching on probably was delivered by the very ships they are now complaining about.

Yesterday Caroline Lucas, a Green MEP, said: "[Shipping] has got away with doing nothing and maintained a clean image which it does not deserve."

In a world where economies are driven by shifting goods around in the most efficient way, do the greens really expect us to go back to the good old days of wind powered ships, rotten vegetables and scurvy? And who voted for this green MEP woman anyway?

Buckfast advertise on football kits?

"Drinks advert ban for children's replica kit"

The Portman Group are proposing a ban on alcohol advertising on replica sports kits.

I haven't noticed Buckfast, Mad Dog 20/20, or White Lightning being advertised on sports kits, and as such would suggest that these so called experts are, in fact, experts in fuck all.

The youth will drink Buckfast, cider and whatever, whether or not it is advertised on sports kits. Same way as they will take up smoking no matter whether it's advertised on formula 1 cars.

Don't be so naive as to think that by removing a logo from a T shirt, that the world will become a better place. The next person who says "Won't someone think of the children?" should be shot in the face. Twice.

Bin tax? Isn't that Council tax?

The thieving bastards in power want to tax us on the rubbish we throw away.
We already pay council tax to cover these services!

The comments on the article in the Hootsman on Sunday are hilarious.

Who defines what is "too much rubbish"?

Tell me again why we elected these idiots? We could save the environment by sacking the lot of them.

Capitalising on drivers in the capital...

The City of Edinburgh Cuntcil are further extending resident's parking to Morningside, Greenhill and Merchiston, as reported by the Hootsman.

Not content with fucking up traffic in the city in general, nor the introduction of resident's parking in Marchmont, and Newington, they are going to extend the zones.

Why don't they just post guards at the city bypass, and shoot drivers in the face, and steal their wallets?

Furthermore, they've been pissing money up the wall on bollards again. Remember the bollards on George Street? How long will these bollards on the High St take to be removed as a fucking waste of money, and a danger to life - The George St bollards weren't able to be lowered by the Fire Service. (According to my sources anyway).

Slappers happy slapping

What is it with happy slapping anyway? The only thing that would make me happy with regards to happy slapping is seeing one of these reprobates getting the kicking they deserve when they pick the wrong victim.

According to the Hootsman, the two most recent perpetrators of this "amusing pastime" have avoided prison...

We should bring back stocks, and leave the two wenches out in public for 24 hours of public ridicule. I'd even source a quantity of rotten vegetables to pelt at them, being a public spirited sort of man.

The View from the dock

Apparently we have a 19 year old Dundonian who thinks he's the front-man for Babyshambles. Kyle Falconer, lead singer of "The View", was fined £1,000 for possession of cocaine. One can only wonder whether he had the same jeans on for four days before his court appearance.

Just what the world needs - another angsty youth, snorting coke and hoping to be like Pete Doherty when he grows up.

The only reason I have heard of this guy is they insist on playing "Same Jeans" at the gym I go to, with monotonous regularity. They must get fed up replacing the televisions I throw weights into.

Fuck off and get a real job. There are too many whining emo youth bands out there already telling us things we don't give a flying fuck about.