This is a collection of thoughts and statements about things that annoy me. I am a big, angry man. Hear me roar, or piss off and give me peace.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sorry I got caught

Jacqui Smith sorry for expense claim says the BBC

Sorry she got pulled up for it more like.

It's not like it's the first time she has been up to no good with our money. There are more links than I can be bothered to cut and paste!

Why are we the people not outraged by these continual piss takes from our elected representatives? Why do we not hang them off a lamppost using piano wire?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Airgun confusion - no confusion

Again with The Scotsman...

Can we say: posturing move with Westminster?

"Mr MacAskill said: "The law around air and replica guns is too confusing and needs to be reformed. However, the Home Secretary refuses to either do this or devolve the powers so that the Scottish Government can."

No, it's not confusing at all, it's just that MacAskill is an idiot.

I think the comments say it all.

How about a nice cup of cancer?

How about a nice cup of shit the fuck up?

The Hootsman reports that drinking hot tea – between 65C and 69C – was associated with twice the risk of oesophageal cancer compared to drinking warm tea – less than 65C. But drinking very hot tea – above 70C – was linked to an eight-fold higher risk.

Next week, they will no doubt report that being alive can be linked to a higher risk of cancer.

Who are these idiots? Why can't we just be left alone to enjoy a nice cup of tea, one of life's few remaining pleasures, in peace, without some dunder-heid telling us we're a' doomed.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Industrial fuckwittedness and the arsehole coefficient

After conversing with a number of people I know, some of whom I work with. Yes, I do work sometimes, I have come to observe a phenomenon known as the arsehole coefficient in the workplace.

For a company of size n, the arsehole coefficient is a, where a < n, unless you're really unlucky.

As people get pissed off with company, and the company offers voluntary redundancies and pay cuts, the good people in the company tend to go early because they are good people - they can be easily employed elsewhere, and can get decent salaries. As such, n decreases, a tends to stay the same, and the ratio of n to a increases - that's the arsehole coefficient.

The private sector is unknowingly or unthinkingly propagating this by not offering raises - some people I know haven't had a raise in 4 or 5 years - they've had the occasional bonus, but that's no use when you're talking to your mortgage people is it? The companies are not being brave enough to get rid of the fuckwits, and are generally being scared by the market at the moment.

As a result of this, they are haemorrhaging good staff who can seek a raise as they move to pastures new. It would seem that certain employers are hell bent on driving what few good remaining staff are there by making it more difficult for employees to stay (arsehole coefficient biting them there) and general bad feeling about their compensation - and yet I expect they'll wonder why their workforce is demotivated, their products are shite, and why the company is going down the pan.

Many of these companies are placing too much stock in their stock. (Whilst I do realise it is the duty of the directors to maximise the share price for the investors, it's also the duty of the board to ensure there's a company still there for there to maximise!)

The board is only interested in the share price - and companies are pressing on with share buy back schemes and so on, when it is clear that the stock market is in the middle of a wibble. They seem incapable of taking a long term view as opposed to a blinkered short term approach. The long term view of investing in their staff, and as such their product line for a pay off in the future, not a fast buck now.

If investors and management had any sense, they would insist that the long term stability of the company was put first. Short term fiddling of the stock prices by laying off staff, buying back shares, hiring contractors instead of permanent employees, and generally running the company in to the ground would be frowned upon since the long term stability of the company (and people's pension funds) would be jeopardised.

Long live the long term point of view.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Princes Street gets tram reprieve for festivals...

Princes Street gets tram roadworks reprieve for festivals... The Hootsman reports that TIE have struck some deal or other to wind the roadworks down during the plague of tourists seasons.

So yet another knife in the back for Edinburgh residents who have to suffer for longer so that the tourists see nice clear streets for their 5 minute visit to the city.

I'd have the lot of them shot as collaborators.

Women are shallow and are after your money

The Hootsman reports some amusing study results...
In a study carried out by psychologists at the University of Wales, involving 120 people, when women were presented with separate images of the same man sitting in a silver Bentley Continental, then a red Ford Fiesta, they viewed him as ''more attractive'' in the prestige car.

As opposed to the blokes who found the women equally attractive no matter what car they were pictured in. Quietly grateful for any female attention, no doubt.

A psychologist is quoted as saying:
"It's hard to fight against our genetic inheritance. I think women have always looked to men for some sort of financial security and the car is proof of that."

Ah, so they're not just gold digging for the sake of it then... What a relief.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Parliamentary inscription wanted...

Parliamentary inscription wanted - The Beeb says we can send in suggestions for a blurb to be chiselled in stone on the pretendy parliament.

Here's one:

You're a shower of bastards and a waste of money.
You should be hanging from lampposts.
The collaborators should be put up against a wall.

I bet we get humped on the price for the inscription too.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Orgy story took my dignity

Max Mosley claims the orgy story in the press took his dignity...

I thought being spanked by hookers did that.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Don't mess with Texas

I went on holiday to Texas to see friends, eat BBQ and steak, and shoot guns.

Austin was warm and sunny, as usual - 80F (ish), and rained only the once. My timing was near perfect - warm enough to be pleasant to be out - evenings cool down fairly quickly though. Certainly not as hot as it gets in the summer 100F for weeks on end.

Amusingly enough, I hired a car (well, more like a tank) for the duration - a Chevy Blazer. I don't drive in Edinburgh, but obviously it's hard to get around a city like Austin without your own transport - and one can't impose upon friends for transportation all the time, particularly since they're at work, or up to whatever they get up to. The last time I was behind the wheel was the last time I was in Austin, which was about 3 years ago. They've sprouted some new freeways - toll roads, which make going places a lot quicker than the parking lot otherwise known as I35. And I only nearly crashed once.

Here are some pictures of my remarkably anger and stress free vacation...


I worked in Austin, almost 10 years ago, during the .com craziness. It was all very stressful, I didn't make my millions there, but did make a lot of friends.


The evil people at The Salt Lick have opened up a new pit BBQ and restaurant up by Round Rock. I have made the pilgrimage to Driftwood a number of times for the fab BBQ, and now excellent MEAT can be enjoyed after a much shorter drive to Round Rock. They were doing a $3 off the family style (all you can eat) which is pictured above. Plates like that keep coming to the table until you stop them. Family style is best enjoyed in large groups and (obviously) when hungry.


I'll not post pics of my targets here - they're online elsewhere. My shooting was fairly crap, but then again, I haven't shot anything in 3 years. For the record, everything hit the target card. Most hit close to the centre, but I have done better in the past. I was rather rushed though, Red's Range was closing early for maintenance so a blitzkrieg session was had. 50 rounds through a HK USP 40 S&W pistol, and 50 rounds through the (pictured) .223 Colt AR-15.

The 2 weeks I spent there were ab-fab, with many thanks to my hosts. I definitely could have done with staying for another week or so - particularly since there were a few people I didn't manage to see. That and I returned to find work in the middle of another cluster-fuck.

More help for students - the saviours of the economy

The Hootsman has a hilarious opinion piece on why we should dig deeper for students...
"Student numbers are going up as people desperately try to reorient their careers. But, at the same time, those in full-time higher and further education are finding it difficult to fund their studies"
The article ends with a pithy remark about how more graduates will save the flagging British economy. (Although you'll probably have to actually read the paper for that...) Something about how, once they graduate, they'll make lots of money and spend lots of money, and that's just what we need.

That would be all very well and good if these students weren't all studying yoghurt knitting and basket weaving, and other such utterly pointless courses, at pointless "universities".

Go and get an apprenticeship - be a plumber or something! Then maybe I'll be able to get a plumber at less than 4 months notice, and an arm and a leg an hour. Gaaaaah!