This is a collection of thoughts and statements about things that annoy me. I am a big, angry man. Hear me roar, or piss off and give me peace.

Friday, August 31, 2007

A nation oblivious...

What is it with people wandering around utterly oblivious to their surroundings with ipods in their ears?

I asked one, and what was their reply? Well, nothing, since they didn't hear me.

I was on the train the other morning, and one of these oblivious idiots made it to the door before me. Stood there like a fucking idiot while the guard asked them to move (twice) before he sort of poked them out of the way.

Yes you, you fucking moron. You're stopping everyone getting off the train because you're listening to your cool choons too fucking loud, and not paying enough attention. Just as well there wasn't some emergency. Fuck it, I'd have trampled them.

A number of those earphone wearing oblivisheeple are females of the species. I can only but wonder if somehow shutting themselves off into their own little world makes them feel safer or happier? Not that Edinburgh is a particularly dangerous place, but I like to have my wits about me when I am wandering around - if nothing else, when I am crossing the road in case of traffic, emergency vehicles, whatever... Do these people? Do they fuck.

Speaking of trampling, what is it with people who gitter about in the middle of the pavement? There are those who stop to talk, and take up the entire pavement - which is one thing I can't stand, the other, is those folk who walk slowly enough to get under your feet, and not either directly in front of you, but just a bit off to the side - so they're not on either side of the pavement, and not really in the middle either. This means you're then slaloming behind them avoiding the oncoming people who are also having to adjust their route. Just walk on the left, and at a relatively constant pace. How hard is that? Ah, fuck it, stay at home out of my way. That would be much better. (A quarter of a million people are in a Facebook group about hitting slow walking people, so at least it's not just me that's pissed off by this...)

I particularly find Haymarket Station troublesome in the mornings - not only is it an arm pit of a station, but going in to it to get a train at 08:40, usually means there are hundreds of people trying to get out. Of course, they use the stairs to platform 2 in their entirety - 4 rows of people coming up the stairs. They get quite confused (and bruised) to find me coming down the stairs, at speed, to get my soon to depart (if it's on time (Hah! that'll be fucking right)) train. It's not difficult - other people are trying to use the station too... expect people to come down the stairs when you're otherwise blocking them...

A nation of idiots...

The BBC reports on the falling literacy and numeracy levels in the country at primary school level.

"While there has been real progress over the last 10 years, we need to continue to push for year-on-year improvement because it is vital that all children gain a thorough understanding of the basics.

That is why we are doing much more to support early reading, writing and maths."

I think the issue is that politicians keep fucking about with things they know nothing about. How about letting the teachers teach? Also, the inability of people to realise that kids have different abilities, and no amount of socialist claptrap will render them equal. Indeed, chances are it will hold everyone back.

When you then consider that GCSE passes have increased - perhaps due to the bar being set lower each year? Science, in particular, has been in the news a lot recently...

"It is not a lowering of the bar, rather a raising of the bar since candidates have to engage with and positively respond to more questions than previously."

Responding to questions that don't actually ask them anything meaningful. A science question does not actually test anyone if set so absurdly easy that all the pupils pass. Science is supposed to be hard. It's also supposed to be rewarding and interesting. The exams are supposed to be a benchmark for how much (useful?) stuff you have learned - and as such should not be too easy.

Cambridge University would like to see tougher A levels, since it might actually give them some idea how well their applicants did at school!

In an attempt to make everyone have a pass at GCSE level or whatever, all that is happening is the exam is being reduced to something utterly worthless. You might as well hand the exam passes out to wipe your arse with.

Interestingly enough, I've not seen much about the standards in Scotland being lowered. (Other than the social engineering of University admissions reported last year). I don't imagine that's because it's not the case - I expect our politicians to meddle and make the same mess...

Thursday, August 23, 2007


No, not the delightful beans which turn into an equally delightful beverage.

Sun Microsystems have announced via the gaffer's blog that they are going to change their NASDAQ symbol from SUNW, a symbol of quality, that harks back to their early days "Stanford University Network Workstations", a reassuring symbol of how things were, and how reliable they are... to JAVA. JAVA? I mean, how the fuck can they possibly think that re-branding the entire corporation...

"Ask a teenager if they know Java, and they'll point to their favourite mobile applications"

No. Ask a teenager if they know their arsehole from their earhole. A teenager does not spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on SUNW... Teenagers do not have Sun Workstations at home, and teenagers do not know what Solaris is. (With the possible exception of them confusing it with that fucking film with Geroge Clooney).

"But SUNW represents the past, and its not without a nostalgic nod that we've decided to look ahead."

Those who forget their past are fucking idiots.

"To be very clear, this isn't about changing the company name or focus - we are Sun, we are a systems company, and we will always be a derivative of the students that created us, Stanford University Network is here to stay. But we are no longer simply a workstation company, nor a company whose products can be limited by one category - and Java does a better job of capturing exactly that sentiment than any other four letter symbol. Java means limitless opportunity - for our software, systems, storage, service and microelectronics businesses. And for the open source communities we shepherd. What a perfect ticker."

Gaaaaah. Marketing bullshit at its worst. Why are they wantonly changing these things? Check out the grumpy responses on the gaffer's blog... They do not like this! The consensus is, Java is a flash in the pan, and SUNW remains. Learn from this. Do not let the marketing weenies fuck this up.

Throwing money at the problem...

The BBC reports that throwing money at the problem of youth crime does not help.

No shit, Sherlock.

It's bad enough that Mr Eugenides has posted about something *ahem* unrelated, and conveniently notices the above article too...

What the wee bastards need is a good hiding. It's as simple as that.

The way to combat anti-social behaviour is not to coddle them, and try to understand them. It's to remind them of their place in society. Too many kids with chronic cases of wee-bastarditis get "understanding" from the children's panel and then grow into adult criminals, then we're stuck with paying for their stays in hotels, sorry, prisons.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The people support "Pay as you throw"? Away and shite.

"Almost two-thirds would support a "pay-as-you-throw" system of collecting household waste, according to a survey for the Local Government Association."

Who the fuck came up with this?

You are paying for this already you fucking idiots! It's called Cuntcil Tax!

The BBC gleefully piss on my otherwise good day with the report that "Over 1,000 people were asked if they favoured lower council tax and charges according to how much rubbish they left, with recyclers paying less."

One can only imagine the thought process - the government might charge us less (hah, that'll be fucking right) if we do what they tell us... Hang on a minute... Don't these workshy bastards work for us? Tell them to go and fuck themselves. Do you honestly think for one second that they would possibly reduce cuntcil tax - or even slow the increases in it due to recycling more? And may I remind you how much recycling goes straight to landfill because you the population are fuckwits, and can't tell the difference between paper and plastic? (No, not you, the readers of my fabulous blog - you have more than one brain cell, that's why you're here after all...)
"The LGA also warns if councils fail to act to cut the use of landfill, they could face EU fines of up to £3bn over the next four years."

They say that like it's a bad thing. Looks like another reason to leave the EU to me. Fuck it, let some other nation be a net contributor for a change. Fuck them.

Texas State in "we're not in the EU" shocker

Apparently Texas is not in the EU.

According to the BBC, Texas has told the EU to mind its own business, in classic "Don't mess with Texas" style!

Word is, the hand wringing types in the EU want Texas to stop the death penalty. Texas has quite rightly told the EU to fuck off.

"While we respect our friends in Europe ... Texans are doing just fine governing Texas."

The right or wrongs of the death penalty aside, let them get on with running their own lives. When we live in a crime free utopia, perhaps we can try to lecture them on how to run their affairs. Until then, how about we try to get our own house in order?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Edinburgh council to strike, will anyone notice?

The BBC reports that Edinburgh Council employees have voted to strike over threats of cuts and redundancies... I await these strikes with great interest, since I suspect the people of Edinburgh will not notice a thing.

George Lee, Unison's Edinburgh branch secretary, said: "Council services are all about people. People use the services and people deliver them.

"They are home helps, education and social work staff, engineers, road workers, environmental health staff.

It's a damn shame these people don't work in the real world where factories can halve the number of staff, stop manufacturing in this country, and outsource everything to the Far East at the drop of a hat... Curiously, I haven't seen strike action taken there.

Get the wasters out of the council - too many people seem to think a job is for life in local government, and are utter wastes of space. It has been a long time since I worked in a council, but from what I am told, the slacker attitude hasn't changed at all, and it needs to change when it is us who foot the bill.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Hang 'em High

I am, of course, referring to SCO.

"SCO 'disappointed' as shares plunge 70 per cent"

70% is a good start.

For those of you who were not following this debacle, SCO claimed to own a bunch of Unix copyrights and code, and started throwing their weight around to get licence fees from companies like Sun, RedHat, large organisations running linux, etc.

Sadly, SCO does not own the copyrights. Novell does. This was announced on Groklaw on Friday.

SCO's shares have plummeted, which is pants-wettingly funny.

I can only hope that IBM give SCO the coup de grĂ¢ce sooner rather than later. This has dragged on for too many years, and Darl McBride needs to be strung up for misleading SCO's investors. By misleading, I, of course, mean, lying to.

One can only wonder where SCO is going to find the money it owes to all the companies it has fleeced for licensing over the past couple of years.

The vultures are circling - but I don't think there will be much flesh left on the carcass when this is over...

Monday, August 13, 2007

Carbon Criminals?

If I hear the phrase "Carbon Criminal" one more time, I am going to rip off someone's head, and shit down their neck. (Typically, the phrase is spouted by these types)

The grabasstic fuckwits are telling us that they hate "carbon criminals" (man) (because we're so fucking hippy) Ah just fuck off. I am not interested in your tofu munching nonsense.

You're made of carbon you fucking idiot. We're carbon based life forms. If anyone here is a carbon criminal, it's you. We could set you on fire, thus keeping us from burning oil for 5 minutes. Put yourself out of our misery and fuck off.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Why I hate the festival

I have already asked you to "excuse me" The second ask, is accompanied by a scooping motion to move you out of the way.

You then can take offence at not not noticing the original ask. Just be thankful I don't have to ask you again. Because when I ask, I am really telling you.

Learn to know when you're being an arsehole. I have to live here, and suffer you being in the way for a month. Just fuck off out of my way. I am not going to even pretend to be polite after the first attempt.

Yes, I am referring to you, on the main stair in Teviot. Of course, you'll only know it as "The Gilded Balloon" but that's because you're a fucking amateur. Now fuck off out of my way.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Hippies told to go away

The BBC reports that BAA have been given the injunction to keep the hippies away from Heathrow.

Before the usual hippies start whining about the rights of the Luddites being trampled on, perhaps we should remember that BAA also has the right to go about their legitimate business without being disrupted by people taking so called "direct action" against them.

A better solution, perhaps, is that the hippies should be allowed to get on with it, on the condition that we allow angry business travellers and holidaymakers to sort them out if they cause disruption to the running of the airport? I think that sounds fair...

I think sympathy with their causes would diminish rapidly when Mr and Mrs Average miss a flight due to Luddites on the runway.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Gun Free Zones - 1/2 Hour News Hour

We should have gun free zones everywhere... Because that way it makes us all safer. Oh yes, it does.