Glasgow's Commonwealth Skills

Auntie Beeb reports that Glasgow hosting the Commonwealth Games could lead to skills...

• Athletics - Perhaps the hurdles will allow neds to jump fences when running from the police?


• Sprinting - again, from the police after engaging in some breaking and entering.


• Boxing - as if I need to make any comment.


• Shooting - they just write themselves, don't they?


• Gymnastics - gives greater flexibility in breaking in to houses through tight spaces.


• Weightlifting - to carry away all the swag from your housebreaking exploits...


• Swimming - probably not, since it might be confused with having a bath.

Blogging may be a bit light for the next few weeks since my Glaswegian colleagues who read this blog will have lynched me. (No doubt getting some Judo or wrestling practice in).