Stavros Dimas, the European environment commissioner, yesterday announced plans to bring in a total import ban on products derived from seals that have been killed in a cruel way.
At the risk of being a bastard, surely all killing is cruel... And why should it be limited to seals? In which case, why are we not all tofu-munching insufferable bores? Perhaps the glorious EU will rule that we should all stop eating meat, whilst paying farmers to not grow beef or lamb or pig...
I think you all know where I stand on the issue:
"The wearing of fur generally in Scotland is seen as unacceptable by the majority of the public," he said. "Sporrans are one of the few things where it's still seen as publicly acceptable to wear fur.
Probably since most folk don't really know what a sporran is made from. And I would expect a number of people simply do not care.
Seals are culled for various reasons, and I think it is only right that rather than a slaughter (remember you can't spell slaughter without laughter) where carcasses are burned or buried, we should make use of as many of the carcasses as possible in as many ways as possible.
People seem to get a bee in their bonnets about seals, because they look fluffy and cuddly-wuddly, but forget the seal population has nearly tripled since the 70's!
As for the EU, this is just a typical show of control-freakery on their part. It all starts with one hippy bastard sponging politician going on a boat trip... Can't they just fuck off?
For the record, as if you care, I have just recently bought a sealskin sporran. It looks fabulous. And as is only correct, since the sealskin sporran is for dress wear, I also have a leather sporran for day wear... Quite the man about town, me.
What's a seal's favourite drink?
... Canadian Club. On the rocks.