This is a collection of thoughts and statements about things that annoy me. I am a big, angry man. Hear me roar, or piss off and give me peace.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

It's just too funny

I have just shat myself laughing at this:

Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable on Amazon for $500.99 (USD)

But, isn't that just a CAT5E cable?

No! Clearly it is somethign much more...

According to the reviews, some people are reporting this cable is capable of moving bits so fast that it causes the attached equipment to collapse into a singularity such as the one in Patrick Carroll's house...

"Since then, I can't find the cat, and my entire set of VAX/VMS 4.7 documentation (DEC Will Rise Again!) (Mmmmm, orangey!) has gone missing.

Another reviewer (Momo the Barbarian) wasn't so lucky and didn't escape in time...

"As I write this email, a small black hole is tearing through the space time fabric of my living room, consuming everything in its path (including my former pet Chihuahua, Wolfgang). A simple warning to prevent me from having reverse cabled my new joy for experimental reasons would have also spared me the horror of bidding adieu to 20 years woth of collecting (yes my cabbage patch dolls and hummel figurines are now faint memories of the past, for this dimension anyway). I bid you all adieu as I now see my walls dissolving... goodbye cruel worl"

Dan's Tech Reviews has another take on product:

"There's a lot of negative reviews of this cable. I say, why? It's clearly worth the money.

I sense you're skeptical.

Here's proof: Just 1 minute after pressing the button to order this, I had 7 phone calls from insanely hot women, and got 7 dates out of it. Coincidence? I think not.

I have a hot date for the next week, every night, and you don't. Why aren't you buying this cable?!"

Other reviewers have taken a different path on the piss-take, here's one from Jeffery A. Chabotte:
"A coworker had recently bragged to me about buying these cables, and when i told him what he was really buying, he was shocked.

He hadn't shown up to work for the last couple days and the boss got in this morning, he said that the guy's wife "found him in the garage, hanging by a noose made of some sort of speaker wires he had just purchased".

R.I.P. - Frank Grimes.

I guess these cables are pretty rugged."

Sadly, some people are humourless bastards, who are taking this all very seriously -

"$500 for a cable? Get a grip, Denon. Completely dishonest. I'll never buy any of your products again."

No, sir, I believe you should get a grip, and see that this is an utter piss take, and you should be posting something suitably funny as a review... Read all of the reviews, since most of them are pants wettingly funny. Remember, don't have coffee or any other liquids in your mouth while reading these. Your keyboard and monitor will suffer.


Shug Niggurath said...

cheers for the link, that was brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Actually, you can buy mains power cables that cost that much - if you're gullible enough.

And people who do, swear they can hear the difference.

There's one born every minute.

Angry Steve said...

Yeah, I have blogged about that too -

If you liked the $500 CAT5, you will shit yourself laughing at some of the stuff in that post.

Have an adequate day :-)

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