Wall bingo will break backs

You all know the game - put your card in, type in some numbers and see if some money comes out of the machine - that's wall bingo.

Recently, however, it has become increasingly difficult to play wall bingo due to the machines being lower to the ground than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.

After being at a cash machine with a friend - who also happens to be tall - I remembered I was going to have a rant about this wonder in accessibility that is breaking my back.

Cash machines these days are installed at a height where people who are 3 foot high can operate them, which sadly means that for anyone over 6 foot, they have to stand back from the machine (where's the privacy gone) duck down to try to see the screen - and if the screen has one of those privacy things, chances are you'll end up squatting whilst squinting to get the angle right so the screen doesn't appear fuzzy... All the while, hoping someone doesn't walk in to you or mug you because you're right in the middle of the thoroughfare. I am all for inclusiveness - but when there are two machines side by side, they both tend to be far too low to use comfortably.

I've found an ergonomic solution to this though.

- I just push the buttons on the machine with the end of my cock.