This is a collection of thoughts and statements about things that annoy me. I am a big, angry man. Hear me roar, or piss off and give me peace.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Puritans and Booze

I had the pleasure of visiting my home from home, The Scotch Malt Whisky Society, on Friday of last week... As a member of the society, I do visit both The Vaults and Queen Street, but on this occasion, I was in Queen St.

A very pleasant evening was had by all, although, when we came to leave and were considering purchasing bottles of whisky we found we could not due to these new puritanical licensing laws...

At 21:59 apparently I am a reasonable human being, mostly in control of my faculties, and they are allowed to sell me whisky by the bottle to add to my shelf.

At 22:00 however, I become a drooling moron, and am unable to buy a bottle of fine single cask single malt. They'll still serve me whisky by the dram, of course.

Which utter fucking moron came up with this new law? Clearly not someone who is a member of the society, or someone capable of holding their drink without making a complete and utter cunt of themselves.

I would like to take these puritans to the society, feed them fine whisky, excellent food. Show them we can behave ourselves. Then I'd like to hang them from a lamppost with piano wire the following day. Bastards! Can't they just leave us alone?


Mike Smith said...

Hear, hear!

Dr Paul said...

The folk who win my pub quiz on Monday night in Newington win wine. HOWEVER - this happens post 10pm and no one is quite sure what the law says.

Originally the owner was saying we can't give them the wine, they have to COME BACK TOMORROW and pick it up!

This evolved into - yes we can give them the wine now but only if they drink it in the boozer and DO NOT leave with it! This interpretation is my favourite as it turns an ostensibly anti-drinking law into a binge-now byelaw.

Anyway, the real truth is that no one gives a flying fuck, so I've taken to simply handing it over. I can't see us being copped.

Don't tell the owner.